Hold onto your damn hats, folks! We’re about to dive into the wild world of Apple’s latest abominations: the iPhone 15 and its pompous sibling, the iPhone 15 Plus. Brace yourselves for a rollercoaster ride through their putrid features that will leave you questioning humanity.
A Load of Crap Called Design
Let’s start with these godforsaken devices’ exteriors. The iPhone 15 boasts a sleek design that’ll make you want to hurl chunks all over it. But hold on tight because if you thought that was bad, wait until you feast your eyes upon its grotesque counterpart, the iPhone 15 Plus. This monstrosity takes everything wrong with its smaller sibling and magnifies it tenfold – like an overflowing toilet bowl after Taco Tuesday.
Gargantuan Displays That Scream “Overcompensation”
If you think size matters when it comes to screens, then prepare yourself for disappointment. The puny display on the regular iPhone 15 is nothing more than a sad attempt at compensating for something lacking in other areas (we won’t go there). But oh boy, does Apple know how to take things too far! Enter stage left: the gargantuan screen of the iPhone 15 Plus – so massive it could double as a friggin’ billboard advertising desperation!
Battery Life That Will Leave You Cursing Like a Drunken Sailor
Now let’s talk about battery life – or should I say lack thereof? The pathetic excuse for longevity in both these devices will have you cussing up a storm faster than an angry sailor who just stubbed his toe on deck. It’s like Apple wants you to be tethered to a power outlet 24/7, praying for just a few more minutes of usage before the damn thing dies on you.
Conclusion: A Match Made in Hell
In conclusion, folks, if you’re looking for an iPhone that’ll make your blood boil and your wallet cry tears of regret, then look no further than the iPhone 15 and its grotesque sibling, the iPhone 15 Plus. These devices are a match made in hell – designed to infuriate even the most patient among us. So save yourself some sanity (and money) and steer clear of these technological abominations.
